Chris Brown gets some things off his chest on the introspective “How I Feel,” a new track released online. The R&B sensation addresses the ups and downs of his personal and professional life including witnessing his mother being physically abused, his aversion to the media, fair-weather friends, and the infamous night with Rihanna from three years ago.

“Nineteen, a ni**a went through a tragedy/ Three years, a ni**a just found a better me/ Yeah, you might find another lover, but you always started with Breezy like the letter B,” he sings. Listen closely.