Jennifer Hudson sat down with Oprah Winfrey for the first time since a jury convicted William Balfour of murdering her mother, brother, and nephew in October 2008. During aninterview at her Chicago penthouse overlooking Lake Michigan, the Oscar-winning actress opened up about the unthinkable tragedy and how she’s been dealing with it.

“It literally takes a part of you,” said J-Hud, who hasn’t been to the grave site since her family was buried. “I came back with justice being served. Now I feel like I deserve to be able to see them.”

She was also joined by her sister Julia and fiancé David Otunga, who spoke about their wedding plans. Plus, the mother of one discussed her dramatic weight loss and new clothing line, which launches this week on QVC.

Watch the full episode of “Oprah’s Next Chapter” below.