The family of Oscar Grant, the 22 year-old unarmed Black man shot in an Oakland, California subway station, feels that the apology from officer Johannes Mehserle, is ill-timed and insufficient. Grant was shot in the back by officer Mehserle on New Year’s Day of 2009 after resisting arrest.

The NY Daily News reports that the handwritten note from Mehserle, dated July 4, was written two days after the jury begun deliberating. In the letter Mehserle claimed that he wanted to apologize sooner but was unable to because of death threats.

Mike – 

Please try to get this message to the public: 

I don’t know what the jury in this case is going to decide, but I hope those who hate me and those who understand that I never intended to shoot Oscar Grant will listen to this message. 

I have and will continue to live everyday of my life knowing that Mr. Grant should not have been shot. I know a daughter has lost a father and a mother has lost a son. It saddens me knowing that my actions cost Mr. Grant his life, no words express how truly sorry I am. 

I hoped to talk to Ms. Johnson and Ms. Mesa in the days following this terrible event, but death threats toward my newly-born son, my friends and family resulted in no communication occurring. I hope the day will come when anger will give way to dialogue. 

For now, and forever I will live, breathe, sleep, and not sleep with the memory of Mr. Grant screaming “You shot me” and putting my hands on the bullet wound thinking the pressure would help while I kept telling him “You’ll be okay!” 

I tried to tell myself that maybe this shot would not be so serious, but I recall how sick I felt when Mr. Grant stopped talking, closed his eyes and seemed to stop breathing. I don’t expect that I can ever convince some individuals how sorry I am for the death of Mr. Grant, but I would not feel right if I didn’t explain my thoughts as I wait for a decision of the jury. 

Johannes Mehserle 7-4-2010