Christina Milian is starting off the new year by coming to terms with the past. The sexy singer is revealing what caused her divorce from The-Dream and what she’s learned from the trying experience.

The 29-year-old opens up to Latina magazine about the cheating scandal that rocked her world. “I didn’t know anything. But looking back, my gut was telling me something was off. But I thought I could fix it,” she said after pics surfaced online of her former husband getting close with his personal assistant.

But she still tried to make things work.

“No matter what, you can’t change who you are. I know that now. I tried to be someone I wasn’t because I wanted my marriage to work. But ultimately, if it’s not working, it’s not working.”

She also shares how the breakup helped her become more self-aware and resilient in dealing with heartache.

“I learned a lot about myself this year,” she explained. “I learned what I can handle. I learned how much I can take. I learned who I am and what I will accept for myself and my daughter.”

Describing herself as feeling “brand new,” the Cuban-American songstress gushed about how much she loves being a mom to daughter Violet, and how it’s changed her life in unexpected ways.

“Being a new mother definitely makes me feel so much sexier than ever before,” she said. “There’s a certain responsibility that I carry being a mom that makes me feel very confident and so blessed. Being a mom is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Her newfound confidence comes in the wake of her divorce from The-Dream, who she married in September 2009 after becoming pregnant with his child. They announced their separation last summer.